BLCD: Kotonoha no Hana (Ono Daisuke x Kamiya Hiroshi)

Title: Kotonoha no Hana 言ノ葉ノ花 (28/02/2008 )

Pairing:
Ono Daisuke x Kamiya Hiroshi
小野大輔 x 神谷浩史

Yomura Kazuaki 余村和明: Kamiya Hiroshi 神谷浩史
Hasebe Shuichi 長谷部修一: Ono Daisuke 小野大輔

Rating: Recommended

Quick Summary:
On Christmas three years ago, Yomura Kazuaki (Kamiya Hiroshi) suddenly acquired the ability to hear the thoughts of his fiancee whom he proposed to the night before. He was shaken and hurt by the real voice of her heart that belied the sweet front that she showed him, as well as the thoughts of all the people around him. Since then, he has not been able to trust anyone as he is well-aware of what they are truly thinking. One day, he meets Hasebe Shuuichi (Ono Daisuke), a co-worker and is surprised to hear his thoughts of love for him. Hasebe is a honest man who has a true heart. Yomura has not heard any of Hasebe’s inner thoughts that proved otherwise and he begins to open his heart toward the man. When Hasebe found out about Yomura’s ability, his reaction is something he has not expected.

Based on a novel by Sunahara Touko 砂原糖子.

First published on 28 April 2008. Updated on 6 December 2010 with a more detailed summary with spoilers.

Detailed Summary (with spoilers):

After Yomura developed his special ability, all sorts of voices keep ringing inside his head. Normal daily life became unbearable. He quit his job as an IT engineer and broke up with his girlfriend, Yuiko since she did not truly want to marry him and only agreed to his proposal out of convenience.

Yomura stayed away from people for about two and a half years before finally taking up a job as a contracted worker in a computer electronics shop. He is now 29 years old.

It is Christmas eve and Yomura is working overtime and distributing flyers outside the shop. Christmas installations near where he is standing fall down. He is almost hit by them but Hasebe manages to pull him to safely just in time. They both fell and Hasebe twisted his ankle in the process. Although Hasebe tries to reassure Yomura that he is not hurt, Yomura can hear his thoughts and knows that he has hurt his foot. Yomura reaches out his hand to help Hasebe and when Hasebe holds Yomura’s hand for the first time, his thoughts sounded inside Yomura…

Hasebe’s thoughts: Yomura-san… Yomura-san’s hand. Yomura-san’s voice. Yomura-san… Yomura-san…
Yomura: Erm… ano… are you (ok)?
Hasebe’s thoughts: Hand… I should let go of his hand quickly or he’ll think it is strange… what should I do… but I don’t want to let go of his hand… Yomura-san’s hand… It’s the hand of the person I love… (Suki na hito no te da…) [One of the main appeal of this drama cd is hearing such cute thoughts voiced by Hasebe and this is the drama cd that made me a fan of OnoD ^^]

…It’s the hand of the person I love…

Yomura is surprised by Hasebe but he is sure he did not mishear his thoughts. Intrigued by the younger male co-worker’s love interest for him, Yomura becomes curious about what kind of person he is. According to other staff, Hasebe is a tall and honest man who doesn’t talk much.

The two of them run into each other in the office pantry the next day. Yomura offers Hasebe a cup of hot tea and the younger man seems to behave normally. Just when Yomura thinks he may have misunderstood Hasebe’s feelings, the man’s thoughts flow into Yomura’s head…

Hasebe’s thoughts: I’m so happy… Yomura-san poured me tea… [Such a cute seme… hehe]
Yomura’s thoughts: Seems that I didn’t misunderstand him.

Yomura thanks Hasebe for his help the day before and asks if his foot is all right. Hasebe is surprised that Yomura noticed it and says he is also grateful for Yomura a while back for giving him medicine for his headache. He wonders if he looked like he was in obvious pain but Yomura replies that he is observant because his mother was a nurse. Yomura wonders if he fell in love with him just because of that. However, Yomura feels that Hasebe is a straightforward person and thinks his feelings are probably platonic… and then Hasebe finishes his tea…

Hasebe’s thoughts: Oh no… (I finished) the tea Yomura-san has poured… [Lol~ how adorable!]
Yomura: Would you like another cup of tea?
Hasebe: Yes, thank you.

Yomura is now convinced that Hasebe is in love with him. However, he does not feel any displeasure at discovering Hasebe’s feelings. After years of hearing unpleasant voices, he feels that it is not a bad thing to hear someone’s genuinely happy thoughts for a change.

After that incident, Yomura and Hasebe starts to talk to each other at work. As their interactions increase, Yomura would sometimes hear Hasebe thinking loving thoughts about him.

Hasebe’s thoughts: Yomura-san’s smile… is great!

Although Yomura is reminded of Hasebe’s affection for him, he does not feel offended because Hasebe is a very trustworthy and honest man whom he enjoys talking to very much.

One day Yomura feels unwell after a day’s work. He has been distributing flyers outside the shop the whole day and caught a cold. Hasebe finds him resting in the office and when they try to leave together, Yomura loses consciousness. Hasebe sends him to the hospital and stays with him while they wait for his turn. As a show of his gratitude, Yomura tells Hasebe that he has some sake (alcohol) at home and would like him to take some of them. In reply, Hasebe asks Yomura if they can go for drinks together since he does not usually drink alone. Immediately after, Hasebe’s thoughts betrays his anxiety.

Hasebe’s thoughts: Does it sound unnatural? Yomura-san maybe turned off. I hope he can give me an answer quickly. I want to know his answer… but I don’t want to be rejected… what will his answer be?

Yomura knows that he should reject Hasebe because he knows about Hasebe’s affection for him but he cannot help but say yes. Just then, the nurse calls for Yomura. When he gets up and looks back, he sees that Hasebe’s face is flushed red and he can almost feel his passion by the warmth of the man’s fingers.

A month later, Hasebe invites Yomura to his home for dinner for the first time. Hasebe has a younger sister, Kana. Their parents passed away in an accident when Hasebe was a first year high school student. After graduation, Hasebe worked to support the two of them immediately. According to Kana, he works all the time and does not know how to enjoy himself. Yomura is the first person he has invited to their home.

After dinner, Kana leaves the two men alone to enjoy their drinks. As Kana is planning to get married soon, they begin to discuss about their own marital statuses. Hasebe reveals that after their parents passed away, he was overwhelmed by the situation and work and that he did not have time for romance. However, he feels that he probably loves a person who is gentle. As for Yomura, he says that he has not met the right person yet. The two of them continue to chat and drink and Hasebe’s thoughts of happiness fill up Yomura’s mind.

Hasebe’s thoughts: Yomura-san is here… I’m so happy. It’s like a dream. (He is sitting right) next to me…

Yomura falls asleep after having a drop too many. Although Hasebe suggested that Yomura stay over for the night, Yomura intended to go home after that. And just as he awakens, hearing Hasebe’s inner desire for him gives him a surprise.

Hasebe’s thoughts: Yomura-san… I want to touch him…
Yomura (surprised): Hasebe-kun… oh… I’m sorry for falling asleep. What time is it? I should get going.
Hasebe: There’s no more transport. Please don’t hold back and stay over tonight (I want to touch him… I want to kiss him)
Yomura (shocked): But… this is the first time I came over… I shouldn’t…
Hasebe: It really doesn’t matter. I can prepare the futon (I want to touch him… kiss him… hug him [can also mean make love]) Yomura-san, how about it?

Hasebe reaches for Yomura but he was so shocked by Hasebe’s thoughts that he slaps away his hand. Visibly hurt, Hasebe rises to leave and says he will prepare the futon. Anxious that he has hurt Hasebe, Yomura hugs him with the intention to soothe him. At that point in time, Yomura does not realise that it may be strange for two grown men to be in this situation. Before he knows it, he kisses Hasebe. Even with his eyes closed, Yomura can still feel the passion in Hasebe’s kisses and his heart.

Hasebe’s thoughts: Yomura-san… I love you… love you…

The next day, Yomura tries to explain away the kiss by saying he was drunk. Yomura is sure he is not attracted to men and he asks Hasebe if he was drunk. For the first time, Hasebe lies to Yomura and says that he returned the kiss because he was drunk too. Yomura promises himself that he will be careful not to read Hasebe’s thoughts from then on, so that they can continue to be good friends. (Note: It was revealed in Yomura’s narration previously that over the past few years, he has learned that as long as he is not emotionally upset or distracted, it is possible to concentrate and shut out voices from his mind.)

However, try hard as he might, it is not possible to keep things as they are after that. As Yomura needs to concentrate on not hearing Hasebe’s thoughts, he becomes overly sensitive whenever Hasebe touches or gets near him. His mixed signals torments Hasebe and the man finally confesses his love for Yomura.

As Yomura already knew about it, his reaction to the confession seems to be calm and Hasebe apologises to him saying he does not think he can keep being friends with him after being rejected.

Hasebe: I’m sorry for hugging you suddenly like that. I don’t think we can go for drinks together anymore.
Yomura: Huh?
Hasebe: I understand that I can’t keep up being friends with someone I’ve fallen in love with because every little thing makes me feel unsettled and irritable. It’s probably jealousy. We’re both men, so it must sound very funny to you, right? I’m sorry. I thought I would never say it. (Even though I know it’ll make things difficult for Yomura-san…) Don’t worry. I’ll pretend that nothing has happened when we go back to work tomorrow.
Yomura: Ano… Hasebe-kun…
Hasebe: If you stop me, I’ll get the wrong idea… I’m thickheaded… so I’ll get the wrong idea that you might like me too.

Afraid of losing him, Yomura invited him home to talk about it.

Hasebe: Yomura-san, are you gay?
Yomura: I don’t think so… what about you?
Hasebe: I don’t know. I’ve never fallen in love with anybody else but Yomura-san. If we base it on one person, then I guess I’m gay. I’m sorry. That kiss we had… I was sober the whole time. I lied about being drunk. I felt strange when I saw your sleeping face and when you slapped my hand away, I thought it was my punishment for thinking lecherous thoughts. Then all of a sudden you hugged me and before I knew what was going on, we were kissing. When you said we kissed because we were drunk, I thought maybe I should go with the flow… and probably I felt relieved too. I’m sorry for lying to you.

Yomura feels that Hasebe did not lie. He was forced to say it because Yomura did not want to face the truth. Hasebe expresses his desire to touch and kiss Yomura and promises he will never lie to him again. The men become physically intimate and has non-penetrative sex that night.

Hasebe: I love you, I love you, Yomura-san, love you…

Yomura does not know how to respond to that. He does not hate Hasebe and probably loves him. But he feels that his affection for Hasebe developed only because he heard the voice in his heart.

After that night, Yomura is sure he would not be able to face Hasebe but the two of them continue to chat as they usually do and he is glad.

A week later, Hasebe’s sister drops by the shop to buy a computer. She thanks Yomura as Hasebe has become a lot happier after knowing him. She even heard him hum a tune that morning after Yomura stayed late at their place. [It was the night they kissed]. And she has never heard him do that before. Just then Kana’s boyfriend, Kawayama arrives. He expresses concern about Kana spending money on a new computer. Yomura hears his thoughts about needing Kana’s money next week and that it would be pointless if she doesn’t have any left. Yomura finds it unusual that a man would want to use his girlfriend’s money and decides to investigate by hearing his thoughts.

It turns out that Kawayama is married with child and has no intention to marry Kana at all. He borrowed money from her on the pretext of paying for his mother’s hospitalisation fees but it was to pay for his own debts. Yomura confronts Kawayama and unintentionally upsets Kana in the process. Hasebe wants to know how Yomura knew and Yomura decides to reveal his ability to read minds. Yomura has faith that a truthful person like Hasebe would definitely not be afraid of his ability and will be able to understand it. However, no matter how many times Yomura tries to prove it, Hasebe cannot bring himself to accept it.

Another week passed. Hasebe looks up Yomura and confirms that Kawamura is a cheat. Afraid of being exposed, Kawamura has returned the money to Kana after Hasebe calls him up at his workplace. Hasebe tells Yomura that he believes him now because he knows that Yomura is not the type who would lie. Hasebe finally finds out that Yomura knew about how he feels right from the beginning. Yomura reassures him that he is not listening to his thoughts right now and explains that with concentration it is possible. However, when Yomura asks him to go for dinner right after that, Hasebe postpones it. Subsequently, Yomura realises that Hasebe is avoiding him.

One day, Yomura is surprised to receive a text message from Hasebe. The man once told him he did not like communicating by text messaging because it cannot convey his emotions. However, now he is texting Yomura, so that Yomura cannot read his mind. Treating the message as a gesture of goodwill, Yomura replies and says that he wants to meet but does not receive a reply after that. He regrets telling Hasebe about his ability. He realises too late that he has fallen in love with Hasebe and wished he had expressed his love for Hasebe earlier.

Two months later, Yomura runs into Kana at the train station and goes for lunch together. She has recovered from the incident and thanks Yomura for his help. She reveals that she is shopping for Hasebe’s birthday present and hopes that Yomura can celebrate with him too as he seems depressed lately. Yomura hesitated initially because Hasebe has been avoiding him even at work but decides that it would be nice to give him something he likes.

On Hasebe’s birthday, Yomura invites Hasebe out for dinner and hands him the birthday present. Hasebe is surprised by the gift as it is exactly what he wanted. Just as he wonders in his mind how Yomura knows about it, a waiter breaks a glass accidentally and disrupts Yomura’s concentration. Hasebe’s thoughts flow into Yomura and by reflex, he immediately denies reading his mind. Unfortunately, it only serves to deepen the misunderstanding.

The next day, Yomura tenders his resignation. He is tired of everything and wants to run away from it all, just like what he had done three years ago. Hasebe finds out about it and tries to dissuade Yomura. Yomura refuses to talk any further and leaves. He gets on the train and notices that Hasebe has got onto the same train too. [It’s quite a nice exchange, so I’ll translate their text conversation here :)]

Hasebe’s text message: Thanks for the birthday present yesterday. And I’m also sorry. This is what I was trying to tell you just now. When I returned home that evening, Kana told me about running into you the other day. She wanted it to be a surprise, so she kept it a secret. I’m sorry for misunderstanding you. I’m really very sorry.
Yomura’s reply: It doesn’t bother me. So please forget about it too.
Hasebe: If it didn’t bother you, then why did you avoid me?
Yomura: I didn’t avoid you. But aren’t you the one who avoided me in the first place?
Hasebe: I apologise for that. Can you forgive me?
Yomura: Whether I forgive you or not doesn’t change the fact that I’m a monster who can read minds.
Hasebe: You’re angry.
Yomura: I’m not.
Hasebe: Please forgive me. I’m going to come over now.
Yomura: Back off.
Hasebe: I’m coming over.
Yomura: You better not. If you come, I’ll read your mind and listen to all your thoughts.

Yomura does not expect to receive a reply after saying that. After he gets off the train, Hasebe is nowhere to be seen. Yomura begins to sob and feel regret when it finally dawns on him that he is utterly alone in this world because of his ability. It was revealed earlier that Yomura’s parents divorced when he was a grade schooler. Although his mother took him under custody, he overheard her saying that she could not say she did not want him because she is his mother. It hurt him deeply. It was then he prayed with all his heart to be able to read people’s minds, so that he could understand what his mother really thought about him. But now all he wants is to have this ability taken away, not for anybody’s sake but his own. He cannot bear it any more.

Suddenly, Hasebe’s voice flows into his mind.

Hasebe’s thoughts: Yomura-san. I’ve come. Yomura-san, you can hear me, right? Yesterday, you asked me if I could understand how it feels to be able to read minds… you also don’t understand my feelings at all, even though you could read me. If only I hated you, then I won’t be afraid of you knowing what I think. But because I don’t hate you, it troubles me. Because I don’t hate you, it troubles me that you may know if I have any negative thoughts about you.

Shocked, Yomura looks up and sees Hasebe standing before him.

Yomura: When I knew about your feelings for me, I was very happy. Even though I hesitated because you are also a man, I still feel very happy to be needed by somebody.
Hasebe: If you couldn’t read my mind, Yomura-san wouldn’t have developed an interest in me, right?
Yomura: I guess so. Probably it’s because I know about your love for me, that I became attracted to you too. If I didn’t know how you felt, I would never have fallen in love with you. But when I felt that you probably don’t love me anymore, I cannot stop my feelings for you. Isn’t this what they call love? I love you!

Hasebe hugs Yomura.

Yomura: Hasebe-kun, people are watching us.
Hasebe: Please don’t be bothered by them. (You scare me. I’m so afraid of you but… but I love you, Yomura-san.)

Yomura can feel Hasebe’s mixed emotions for him and realises that he has been too afraid of being hurt to see it. He then begins to wonder that perhaps his mother felt other emotions for him too.

Yomura: Mum…
Hasebe: Yomura-san?
Yomura: I feel a little tired. Please lend me your shoulder…
Hasebe: Ok…

That night, Yomura knows that even though he cannot see any stars in the sky, they are shining beautifully above the clouds.

That’s the end of disk one… I’ll update this post again when I find the time to write a summary for disk two ^^

Comments:
Lovely.
The story is lovely.
The performance is lovely.
The music is lovely.
The sex is lovely.
Sigh~ you don’t find gems like these often. Highly recommended :)

Catalog: ATIS-024